Excerpt

If I had known what was in store for me the day I was captured and the 802 days that followed, I would have continued to fight, even though there was no chance of survival.

The damaged weapons carrier slid to a halt, and we piled up against the cab. The noise was deafening, and we could have been yelling at each other, but I don’t remember hearing anything but the noise of the mortar rounds. The next round came in close, and we dove over the tailgate and headed for the ditch. Wherever we looked, there were Chinese. They swarmed at us like ants coming out of the side of the hill.

I was scared, damned scared, but I knew we had to fight.
I remember men running and then spilling into the snow as they were hit, some quietly, others screaming. I looked over my shoulder and watched one of the men on the other side of the truck disappear in the middle of an explosion. When I turned back, the man next to me had been hit, shattering what had once been his face.

Oh, God, why couldn’t we have made the other 100 yards to the bridge and the safety that lay on the other side?

I wiped the sweat from my eyes and fired three rounds at the enemy on the hill just across from us. I can remember saying to myself, Hell, I missed him. This time, I took careful aim, and he went skidding sideways as the bullet plowed into his side.

Please, God, don’t let me get hit.

I rested my head on the stock of my rifle and took a deep breath. I can’t stay here. But I can’t run. They’ll get me for sure if I run. I took another look at the bridge.

Over to the left, some of our guys got one of our heavy guns into action. I don’t think they got off more than four bursts before they were all dead. It was as though every damn Chink in North Korea was shooting at them. I tried to get closer to the ground and I remembered, for no apparent reason, the story we used to tell on Okinawa during the last war. When you’re in the infantry, don’t carry your cigarette papers in your breast pocket. It keeps you from getting close enough to the ground. I have never felt so alone in my life. But even in the panicky feeling that goes with a battlefield, I was conscious of other M-ls firing on both sides of me.

God, I wonder if they’re as scared as I am.

My heart was pounding so hard I thought I would choke. I tugged at my collar, trying to get a deep breath. Smoke and dirt from the exploding rounds made it tough to see, but there wasn’t much to see anyway. They were still swarming over the hills straight at us. I fired my last round and then rolled to get the next clip out. As I did, I hit the motionless body lying next to me. I felt like I was going to get sick.

Please, God, don’t let me get hit.

I took another look at the bridge. My mind calculated the chances of making a dash for safety.

If I get up and run to the back of the truck, and then, if I haven’t been hit, run to the rock. And then if I haven’t been hit, I’ll run down the road to the ditch, then if I haven’t been hit, take off for the bridge for all I’m worth. Don’t be a damn fool, you’ll never make it. Their rifles can’t hit me if I stay in this ditch.

But they had a lot more than rifles out there, and they were using them all. I can’t stay here forever; I decided to try it. It felt like I had been thinking about it for hours, but it had only been minutes since the first-round hit. I struggled to get to my feet to make the dash for the rear of the truck. As I looked towards the vehicle, a machine gun stitched a pattern through the side of the truck. Another crew was methodically working the area between me and the rock.

You’ll be killed, don’t try it. Hell, you’re going to be killed right here if you don’t do something quick. This can’t last forever. Why didn’t I go out with the first truck? I would have been across that stupid bridge and still have a chance to see my wife and kid again.

The sight of one of our gunners standing up, walking to the truck, woke me up. Get down, you crazy fool! Get down! He kept walking, just like he was taking a walk in the park. His carbine was gripped in his fist, hanging by his side. Little puffs kicked up beside him. He hunched his shoulder and winced in pain. He just stood there, then finally crumbled to the ground. His eyes were looking straight at me. …